However, this can lead to resentment, an emotion that can break down a relationship or drive a Pleaser to leave.
Without consistent parental affection they develop feelings of abandonment, and by the time the parent feels like giving again, their child is tired of waiting and too angry to receive. As adults, Vacillators are on a quest to find the consistent love they never received as children. They idealize new relationships, but then get tired of it once life and the relationship gets less than perfect.
Controllers need control to ensure that the vulnerable, negative feelings they experienced in childhood remain suppressed from their adult lives.
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Having control means having protection from feelings like fear, humiliation, and helplessness; however, anger is the one emotion that is not vulnerable, and so anger and intimidation are often used as means to maintain control. While control can be either highly rigid or sporadic and unpredictable, Controllers rarely realize the true reason they feel the need to be in charge.
Victims lack a sense of self-worth or personhood and are often anxious and depressed. Victims may emulate their childhood home environment by pursuing a relationship with a Controller.
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When children are involved in such a relationship, the Victim may even inflict their suppressed anger on their children whenever the Controller is not present. While the Love Styles represent different types of emotional injury, Secure Connectors on the other hand, are comfortable with reciprocity; balanced giving and receiving in relationships.
They can describe strengths and weakness in themselves and others without idealizing or devaluating. The track was written by Blunt and Eg White. Directed by Kinga Burza , the music video shows Blunt playing guitar and singing along to the song, whilst surrounded by s-style performers.
Most of the performers have a brightly coloured instrument of some kind, or sing along with the track.
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